I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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