she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize