Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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