I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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