went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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