I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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