So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
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We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
how does that bad decision feel?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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