it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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