dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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