she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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