so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
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he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
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I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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