I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize