Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize