Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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