I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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