I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize