You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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