I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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