Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize