ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize