Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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