is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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