Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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