I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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