She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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