I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
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Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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