A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
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Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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