Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
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she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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