i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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