nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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