booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
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She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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