so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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