Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize