I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize