Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize