i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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