she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize