i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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