it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
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im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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