Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize