I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize