How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize