Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

Are you dead

(1-260): View more from Indiana

Yes

(260): View more from Indiana

Oh man

(1-260): View more from Indiana

Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard

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(260): Are you dead (1-260): Yes (260): Oh man (1-260): Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard http://tfl.nu/iien

Replies (7) Good night (2873) Bad night (626)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Guess she heard her killer coming

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(973): I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. (1-973): Guess she heard her killer coming http://tfl.nu/u45m

Replies (116) Good night (46408) Bad night (2024) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.

(716): View more from New York

you're writing country songs now?

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(585): broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me. (716): you're writing country songs now? http://tfl.nu/hdm9

Replies (32) Good night (1698) Bad night (6468)
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(810): View more from Michigan

we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.

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(810): we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect. http://tfl.nu/l0ek

Replies (58) Good night (9064) Bad night (586)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.

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(250): i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay. http://tfl.nu/ht4h

Replies (15) Good night (6434) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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(608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed. http://tfl.nu/ynv2

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(613): View more from Ontario

I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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(613): I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there.... http://tfl.nu/g27d

Replies (4) Good night (1659) Bad night (2484)
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(518): View more from New York

I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?

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(518): I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine? http://tfl.nu/b7b9

Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...

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(412): Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation... http://tfl.nu/ehdf

Replies (4) Good night (1289) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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(719): View more from Colorado

I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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(719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2

Replies (8) Good night (1533) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.

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(970): Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard. http://tfl.nu/a8iw

Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt
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(276): View more from Virginia

Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish

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(276): Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish http://tfl.nu/p7ll

Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.

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(615): Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will. http://tfl.nu/qydy

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(438): View more from Quebec

Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.

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(438): Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up. http://tfl.nu/xk7n

Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (155)
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(428): View more from

Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.

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(428): Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale. http://tfl.nu/liut

Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

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