Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Randomize
Follow @tfln