I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
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Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The ass gains better be worth it
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