I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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