More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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