I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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