I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
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honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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