i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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